March 27th, 2010

I simply have to write about it. It's not every day that I experience something so invigorating that no word can better explain it but "wow." Opening night of Crazy For You-- last night, but only a few hours ago--made me so grateful to be alive. I'm thinking back to sixth grade, when St. Mary's put on Guys and Dolls and I was left in awe of the theater business. All that time, effort, and all those smiles on stage sent shivers down my spine and a bittersweet wave of sorrow violently crashed in my gut. I feared that I would never be a part of something so significant, that I would never find the courage to grace the stage and feel the magic of being someone other than myself, that I would never truly realize that who I am behind the footlights is who I really am. I am joy. I am exhilarated. I am giving my all. Oh, I am drunk on life. I am aware of my troubles, but I don't care because the good outlasts the bad. No words can express the way God seems to cradle my heart in His hands right now. My glass runs over as He pours the drink, unaware that He has given me too much. The songs forever lurk in my mind, and I don't care if they play on forever. It is the time of times; I am in the present moment, taking not one breath too soon. I feel small and big at the same time, part of an eternity, a shrunken image of what Heaven means. We are one up there and I never want it to end.